Homosexual marriage is among the most polarizing subjects, but who with any first rate stage of compassion and understanding would reject a legislation permitting gays to have the identical authorized rights as straight individuals? It comes right down to tolerance.
Alas, marriage is a horrible idea for gays, significantly when homosexual individuals attempt to imitate the standard marriage model. Why copy one thing that has a 50% + failure fee, and that is not together with those that keep unhappily married?
Listed below are 7 causes homosexual {couples} ought to suppose twice about trying to mimic the standard marriage model.
1) Cash: The idea of marriage was initially largely about property rights, not love. Now, with over half of all marriages ending in divorce, and plenty of of these {couples} preventing it out in courtroom over cash, have issues actually modified very a lot? You do not know how your companion will react in 10 or 20 years if they do not really feel their wants are being met. Why complicate issues by combining all of your funds?
2) Monogamy: Earlier than Stephen turned a matchmaker, he was fairly idealistic about romantic relationships. By the point he bought the company in 1997, he had a way more thorough understanding of human nature and love relationships after interviewing individuals about their love lives, and observing 1000s of relationships. One of many issues he realized is {that a} sizable proportion (bigger than you suppose) of people that assume they’re the long-term, strictly monogamous kind actually aren’t. Some do not know themselves nicely sufficient, some conform to maintain the peace or get what they need, and a few faux they need strict monogamy for the remainder of their lives for different causes.
For a short time period they’ll simply stay devoted, however finally they are going to be depressing. Conventional marriage does not take this into consideration. As well as, homosexual men and men usually are typically comfy separating sex and love, permitting them bodily contact with no deep emotional connection, they usually have an innate drive for a number of companions. Subsequently, strict long-term monogamy is probably not the perfect path for all homosexual {couples}. Contemplating the excessive fee of dishonest amongst heterosexual {couples}, apparently it is not the perfect idea for them both! Maybe all {couples} would as an alternative be higher off specializing in full honesty and safe-sex 100% of the time.
3) Faith: In the event you had been hoping we’d champion the spiritual themes usually used in opposition to homosexual marriage, sorry, we’re not going to try this. Since faith initially had nothing to do with marriage, that argument is about as phony as an outspoken, anti-gay but closeted preacher.
Our findings inform us that anti-gay sentiment will incur damaging karma and lead to future lives the place the offender will expertise an analogous circumstance, however because the sufferer, even for individuals who declare to be anti-gay within the name of faith.
4) One measurement doesn’t match all: The standard marriage model encourages {couples} to adapt to sure guidelines and customs which is probably not appropriate with one or each companions, homosexual or straight. You do not want a certificates from the federal government to show your love for one another or to anybody else.
5) Kids: Marriage was perceived as crucial earlier than having kids. Is it actually? In reality, mother and father making an attempt to suit into the standard marriage mould too usually ends in disharmony, which is poisonous for kids. If you’d like kids, go for what we name a “baby contract” as an alternative of a wedding contract. It will, not like marriage, put the kid first, somewhat than the calls for and expectations of a conventional, and probably draining marriage. It additionally financially protects the primary caretaker of the kid earlier than having the kid 결혼정보회사.
6) The wedding agenda: After witnessing so many agenda-minded ladies that straight male pals (together with Scott) have dated being overly targeted, in our opinion, on getting a hoop on their finger, gays ought to be grateful (Stephen is!) they do not must take care of that (although Stephen has identified straight ladies who had him of their viewfinder- yikes!).
We are able to definitely perceive why some ladies (and men) search monetary safety by way of marriage, because it’s simpler to be a superb mum or dad while you need not fear about cash. However it takes the enjoyable out of relationship and it is annoying when each different particular person is simply too targeted on their objective of getting married as an alternative of merely attending to know somebody and permitting the connection to be what it’s naturally. Relationship for homosexual men is difficult sufficient and marriage would add but another excuse to remain single.
7) Marriage will not lock in happiness or assure you will not grow old alone: On the floor, marriage looks as if an excellent idea, and naturally it may be great when two individuals are actually appropriate. However while you delve into the the explanation why so many individuals develop into sad of their relationships, and also you see these similar causes time and again with a majority of {couples} as we’ve got with our work, the dangerous results of conventional marriage develop into apparent. Getting married won’t ever lock in or assure safety, stability, or happiness. Due to this, it appears affordable that individuals ought to wait till after age 40 to marry so at the least they may know themselves higher once they make this life-long dedication.
It positive could be good to see homosexual {couples} have the identical authorized rights as straight {couples}, and extra individuals, it doesn’t matter what their orientation, query whether or not getting married is absolutely their best choice.
Prediction: In 50 years individuals will look again and see the obsession with conventional marriage and the blocking of homosexual marriage as archaic and discriminatory.
Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo
